A young man stood, inspecting himself one last time in front of the mirror, ensuring that everything about his attire was perfect. He donned a black tuxedo, which he had picked years earlier, and a brilliant orange vest in keeping with the theme of the autumn wedding. As he reached for his boutonniere the realization that his grandparents would not be around to attend this monumental event hit him; he collapsed on the floor and wept. As he did he remembered the last words his grandmother spoke to him: “I will be so sad looking down on you in hell when I am in heaven”. Mathieu hadn’t spoken to his grandparents since she shared those words with him. He had always understood that they didn’t support his relationship with Matt, but he had not yet been able to figure out how such cold words could come from a devout Christian. More often than not the Church has failed to effectively communicate love to the gay community; whether it be through careless words, off colored jokes, seemingly graceless sermons, silence on the issue altogether or political agendas. It is no wonder that there has been such disconnect between the two communities.
Stories like Mathieu’s are not uncommon to the gay community. It is amazing how many gay men and women have been hurt by the careless words of Christians who, although intending to communicate an essential Biblical truth, have done so in such a way that cuts the person to their very core. Careless words take many forms; sometimes, it is an off colored joke that is told within the church that someone struggling with their sexuality happens to hear. Still other times, as in the story above, it comes from the heart of someone with good intentions, but is delivered in such a way that the truth of love is lost in the pain of rejection. As Christians, we should choose our words very carefully. The Bible is clear on the power of our words and their consequences: “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matt 12:36&37). Too often careless words flow from the mouths of Christians to the gay community. Although we may not have been involved directly we are all part of one body, the Church. It is for that reason we share in the responsibility for the hurt that the body has inflicted on a community already in need of healing.
This brings us to another important truth: “The reality of homosexuality isn’t ‘out there’. It’s here, inside the church, in youth groups across the country.” (Chambers 157). We need to be careful that the Church is a place that is conducive to healing for those struggling with their sexual identity. We should be intentional about what is taught from our pulpits so as to not appear without grace. If we truly have a heart for the lost, and we honestly do want to see people transformed through the love of Christ, we will take the time to educate ourselves on the subject matter in order that we might fully understand the pain that someone goes through when dealing with their sexual identity.
Although hurt can be inflicted, often unintentionally, by the words that we speak, the words we don’t speak can be much more damaging. When we avoid the issue of homosexuality within the Church, we are not communicating love to those struggling in this area. Instead we are implicitly stating that either we find this sin so repulsive that we need not even bring it up as a topic of discussion, or worse still we are indirectly stating that we don’t have a stand on the issue of sexuality and same sex attraction. We should be careful not to be silent as our silence speaks louder than our words.
There is one place; however, we don’t seem to mind breaking our silence, and that is in mainstream media. In recent years the Church has been quite vocal about our stand on same sex marriage. We have fought to maintain the sanctity of marriage and to preserve the right that clergy members have to not perform same sex marriages. We have used the media to communicate our disapproval with same sex marriage and we have communicated our point well. It is important that we share the truth of the Bible with the world and we see by this example that we have used mainstream media as a stage to present the truth about marriage. Yet in the middle of this heated debate how much of our media time did we dedicate to talking about salvation? How much time and effort was spent sharing with the world, specifically to the gay community, a God who is filled with grace, compassion, mercy and healing? The Church has communicated well our opposition to gay marriage, but it seems rare that we speak out against injustices such as; gay bashing, or verbal abuse of gay students in schools or hurtful jokes aimed at the gay community. If our God is a God of justice, it begs the question: do we truly communicate God’s message and love to a hurting world?
Although Mathieu and Matt are not yet married, their story is true. Thankfully Mathieu has taken a more Christ like attitude and has worked toward forgiving his grandmother. Yet the words that were spoken by Mathieu’s grandmother almost ten years ago still resonate in his heart and so it is apparent how carefully the Church should guard itself against careless words no matter how they are communicated be it through personal relationships, sermons, public media or silence. We have shared the truth of the Bible but have neglected to communicate the message of God’s love to an entire subculture; a subculture filled with unique gifts and talents that God’s kingdom may very well miss out on if we don’t begin to bridge the gap between the Church and the gay community. As the church begins on the road to restoring relationships between the two communities, it might serve us well to remember the words once spoken by G.K. Chesterton: “The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.”
No comments:
Post a Comment